Mistaken

He's drawn to her uniqueness
as though it's something he's never seen
In aw he's amazed
and believes she needs setting free

He'd follow her across the world
travel where ever she may go
Go to the extreme
if it means to never be alone.

For he does not know who she is
he seeks for more.
where he stands.
what she wants.
but no way to know.

For time will help him see
that she is not for him.
Both are lost and trying to find
a way to be free from within.

toxins

Brittle are her bones
as she lies there silently
confused and not sure of what I should do.

why does she do this?
hurts her body in such ways
it pains me to see her
treat herself with such fray?

But who am I to think such things?
when I, myself... love to smoke and drink
I let these poisons and toxins in
but no more do I let them rule my world

2:14 AM is now the time
awake and waiting until everything is fine
the taste of red wine, as it warms my belly
and the long drag of tobacco eats me inside

Why does she do this?
hurts her body in such ways?
why do we do this,
subject ourselves to this every day?

Questions

It's just that today.... I'm not there yet.
I need this moment.

I need, this.

Where's my answer?
I feel it so close
but have yet to discover it.
All I want is for this to be revealed.

I'm debating.
Should I?
or shouldn't I?
Tonight... I want to.
a bottle just sounds so good.
It'll be different..
I hope. I hope.

The strength of my confidence
seems to come alive at night
I feel sure, okay, superb.
If only the morning sun
would no longer break me down.

It once was my strength
and has now become my weakness.

What happened?
Did optimism fail?
and pessimism flourish?
It'll come back...
the determination, strength, assurance.

Right now, it's become unknown.
Lost and confused - I don't seem to care.
Is this what it's like?
to be broken?
or destroyed?

Closer to discovering.
Closer to becoming.
Where did hope come from?
Where did we learn to seek for love?
to wanna find it.
What image does it paint in my eyes?

Hope... is our weakness.

re[invented]

I feel like I'm re[discovering]

My Life.
This World.
Our Existence.

I feel free-er.... if freer is a word,
it would be how I feel.

Nature on my side
No more do I push it away
but embrace what it has given me today.

I don't want to be a victim
of this insane world we live.
I just wanna be awakened
to life and what its always been.

No more labels and what we try to justify.
No more pain and suffering that we always seem to mind.
No more love for it is completely misunderstood.
No more being blinded and missing the point for good.

my last

All that's left is your goodbye
No more tears for me to cry
It is now the time
To follow this light

The door that once was open for me
Is now closed to no longer see
No more us.
No more what might have been.

This concept was hard for me to understand
And now I know I was never your fan
Just a dream that I dreamt you to be
A man you never were.
A man you'll never become.

Second best was never the plan
And life didn't hand me a very good man
this is the last
the last of me you will ever see

Let me.

I can't find the words
to tell you how I feel.
I'm not sure exactly where to start.
I'm trying to extend my hand
it's here for you to grab.
I'm here for you to know
and hopefully understand

that

I'm trying to be the one
to offer you the love
that you don't seem to have
and I'm trying to be the one
to pick you up off the ground
when you have no strength to stand.
You've been lost and need to be found.

So let me be the one.

This world is hard enough
to figure out how to survive.
Don't try to do it on your own
let me guide you to stay alive.
Don't let this world swallow you whole.
I'm here, and you should know,
and understand

that

No one can do it alone
no matter how much they try
its okay for you to feel
confused and wanna cry.
But darlin', I want you to see
that I'm here for you tonight.

so let me be the one.

Together we will fight.
Let's use this bottle to christen this new life.
The start of a new beginning
take my hand and hold on tight.
I'll never let you go...
coz I'm here for you to know
and need you to understand

that, I'm trying to be the one

let me be the one...
let me be the one...

kb

Boundaries

We set our limits for ourselves and for others to abide by.
But, why do we set these limits?
Is it to keep our life on track?
Is it to keep our hearts safe from disappointment?

Boundaries are where we draw our lines in life.
Where we make it obvious that we won't push our limits
to areas where we don't dare go.
But why is it that there are some people in life
who decide to take it upon themselves and test the limits of others?
To manipulate them, take advantage for their own selfish reasons.
Is it their selfishness that takes over them?
Is it their fears of failure that cloud their actions?

Where do they get off thinking that it's okay to be twisted with their words.
Thinking that I wouldn't see through them.
When I stare through their eyes
I see...
emptiness.
Their thoughts and mind drowning in that bottle of whiskey
to not face any truth of who they are
and not knowing how to feel secure and come back to reality.

The only way they know how to survive
is to create this image in their mind of a world that doesn't exist.
Or, maybe it does.
This world they've created is full of manipulation, ego, control, power.
It's a world where they only see themselves in it.
No one else.
They step on hearts and take advantage of all who is willing to be controlled.

Well, my boundaries are not available for you to cross.
I am not the person who allows others to push my limits.
I stand firm on where I am and what I believe.
In my world.... I make the rules.

[ Fugitive ]

he runs from everything he knows
turns his head to look the other way
there, he hides in silence
in his black-hole of a world
willing to be traded
anything, to not feel jaded

a fugitive he is
the one thing he's good at
a fugitive he is
nothing will ever change that

in the mirror, he faces himself
broken. destructed. and unexpected.
his identity, which he no longer knows
clearly torn and unaware
of where to find reality
or does he just live in fantasy?

a fugitive he is
escaping the convictions of all life's past
a fugitive he is
his journey to never look back


to never look back.

color me [photo-art]